Green Llama

The case of 38 year old teacher Deanna Bobo is a little shaky.  Ms. Bobo was accused of having sex with several male, underage students over a period of some years.  A quote from the article -
One witness said he saw Bobo sitting with her legs apart while wearing a skirt and no underwear.
Defense attorney [...]

What more can I say, really? For some reason, this man’s life was spared… what a waste. Link.

What?  No one cares?  Let’s see… Sri Lanka is the size of my ass, they have no oil or other useful resources, and they’ve never made any meaningful contributions to the world that I know of.  Who gives a crap?  Link.

Oh boy.  Where do I begin.  So this Muslim guy walks into a butcher shop, right?  He goes behind the counter and cuts off his hand with an electric meat cutter, then walks around showing to people and saying - “I did this for Allah.”  Remind me why I’m not Muslim again?  Link.

A naked man was found rolling around in the streets of Highland Mills, New York recently. He was babbling incoherently, didn’t respond to pepper spray, and punched a cop. Apparently in Highland Mills, this is not an acceptable way to avoid drawing attention to yourself, and your house full of marijuana. Link.

I recently added another phone / line to my Sprint PCS account. They had a pretty good promotion going on, and I got a nice phone for free - good deal, right? Well, not so much. Within minutes of activating the phone, I kept getting SMS spam - people were sending me [...]

Sin City’s most honorable citizens, and best role models - prostitutes and strippers, feel they aren’t respected enough. Women who rub their breasts in the faces of slobbering, drunk men for a living want more respect. And I’m not even going to address the hookers. Link.

Ok…. we can file this one under “Who exactly, wants to see that?”  See, Janet’s 40, which isn’t automatically a bad thing.  It’s more along the lines of, she’s not really attractive.  She’s got the “Michael Jackson before the 30 screwed up plastic surgeries” face thing going on, and that’s not helping.  She did lose [...]

But apparently no humility at all. In a recent interview she said, and I quote: I have amazing boobs. They’re just perfect. At school, my boobs were bigger than all my friends and I was afraid to show them. Now, I feel they make my outfits look better. They’re like an accessory. Ah, so [...]

The General has raised the price on the 2007 Corvette  Z06 by nearly $5000 over the 2006 model.  What do I think?  About freakin time.  The Z06 outclasses anything near it’s price range - it was only a matter of time before the price skrocketed.  As far as I’m concerned, this car would be a [...]

Everybody’s got to be good at something, right? Link.

Google is one of the top five searches on the internet. Yahoo and MSN can’t be too happy about that, can they? When you search for Google at either of the lesser Big three, you’re greeted with 2 search boxes. I can just hear them saying: “Hey stupid, you’re already at a search engine”. Via [...]

Here are the top 10 things that people searched for, that led them to this site. Since this is my first such list, this one is YTD.

topless
tamara+hoover+pictures
topless+teacher
tamara+hoover
green llama
green+llama
naked+teachers
topless+teachers
bikini
sex

See a pretty common theme? Although 5 and 6 are surprising- Do that many people really search for green llama?

As a followup to my Top 10 Searches that led to this site, I present the strangest of the bunch. Theres some wierd crap in here, so be warned.

“When llamas Attack” – 5 searches. Are we that fearful of the majestic llamas?

“Green Pussies” – Two people searched for this. I don’t want [...]

Sometimes people search for some really off the wall stuff, and they end up here at the Green Llama. I’ve decided to highlight the strangest of the strange, and answer their questions directly.

can llamas spit blind you?
This is an issue that we should not take lightly. It is widely known that llamas will [...]

I was at Chile’s the other day with my wife, waiting for our carryout order. In walked in 2 rejects from the Desperate Housewives. I’m pretty sure one of them was Eva Longoria’s older sister. Don’t get me wrong - these ladies weren’t ugly, but there comes a time [...]

Tentatively scheduled for later this month in New Zealand, is “Boobs on Bikes.” I know you’re wondering - what in the world is that? The event is so cleverly named, you’d never guess what it actually is. About 30 porn stars will be riding bikes, topless, in Aukland, New Zealand! Oh [...]

Good News: GM is introducing their newly redesigned 2007 full-size pickups
Bad News: They’re Still using the ancient 4-speed autocratic transmission.
You have got to be kidding. With all the negativity surrounding GM these days, why would they bring more upon themselves? With $3 gas prices, GM needs to take every possible action to [...]

If you hang out with the King on the weekends, and don’t mind ratting him out, you can nab a cool $3 million. Oh, and tell Tupac we’re looking for him. Link.

This effectively renders all other forms of advertising obsolete. Why pay to advertise on a billboard when you can plaster your ad on a 25 year old Russian girl? The best part? You have your pick of just above anywhere on he body. Only the head, nipples, and “intimate parts” are off limits. I [...]

A Sunday school in Watertown, NY is now showing up under the microscope. The minister fired a female Sunday school teacher for - get this - being a woman. Maybe I’m overlooking something, but let’s step back for just a moment.
When this woman was hired, it’s fairly safe to say that she was [...]

How do you explain that one to the kids? That the police had to rescue you from the vat of chocolate that you fell into? Ugh. Link.

Remember Tamara Hoover? Of course you do. She’s the teacher in Austin, TX that posted topless photos of herself on Myspace, and was suspended once the authorities found out. Poor Tamara. I guess she finally got tired of all the hoopla and red tape, and decided to resign and start moving [...]

Ford angers me. They are in a bad spot, but much better off than rival GM. They insist, however, in doing stupid things. Their latest stupid idea is the 0% financing for 72 months. To offer this at all is a poor decision - interest rates are sky high. Not content [...]

Natalina D’ Addario, former substitute teacher in Melbourne, is yet another female teacher to get caught on her knees. Three times last year, the 37 year old Natalina D’ Addario performed oral sex on an unnamed 15 year old male student. Her great idea for the scene of the crime? [...]

Wayne Weston, former park and recreation director for Mecklenburg County in Charlotte, N.C. had it great. He was making $134k a year and having the time of his life. Except for one little problem. See, Wayne had a bad habit of forwarding sexually explicit and racist emails to his co-workers. Apparently [...]

Kitty Delicious, also known as Bridget Grish, was a fashion assistant for Life & Style until recently. Some of her coworkers happened to stumble upon her amateur porn videos on the internet. Fantastic! When questions, the coworkers swore they were just looking for information on delicious kittens. Really.
Bridget, who considers [...]

The Caliente nudist resort in Land O’Lakes, Florida recently held a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. Naturally, the fundraiser was held topless. What kind of neat topless fun could you find there? Well, the highlight was a topless kissing booth - for $5, you get to kiss a topless woman, [...]

Oh my, where to begin? Let’s try a list of the reasons :

Their mayor, Ray Nagin. A recent quote of his - “You guys in New York can’t get a hole in the ground fixed and it’s five years later. So let’s be fair.” Very tactful indeed, Mr. Nagin. That will [...]

Austrailian brothels are getting creative these days.  Now, when you visit one of their lovely ladies, not only do you get the services advertised, and possibly a side helping of syphilis, you also get a discount on your gas bill.  Simply fill up before visiting, present your receipt, and receive a credit of $0.20 per [...]

Remember Bikini wedding dresses? In Russia, some women have made a slightly different choice for the most important day of their lives. Introducing : Lingerie wedding dresses. Yep, That’s bra and panties, just to clarify. They are adorned with flowers, lace, and a veil to be fair, but they are [...]